Anal sex is no longer the taboo subject it once was, far more people openly admit to having experienced and indeed enjoyed it than ever before. Recent research has indicated that anal sex is on the up, with up to 46% of women reporting having indulged in some back-door play. Which in turn has led to more and more people being curious about the edgier sexual activity. If you’re intending to partake in the pervier then as always, knowledge is power. Arm yourself with these hints and tips and you won’t go far wrong.
1. Get to know your butt
Your anus is a thing of natural wonder! With two sphincter muscles (ring-like structures), rich nerve endings and a highly responsive/sensitive , your butt is worth becoming acquainted with – whether you’re going to let a partner in on the action, or you’re going to be the one seeking entrance to the forbidden treasure. Familiarising yourself with your own anatomy will serve you well. While masturbating or showering, try sliding a lubed up pinky finger inside and allowing your sphincter muscles to contract and relax as you breathe deeply.
2. Talk to your partner
When it comes to sex, there is considerable value in trying new things on your own before introducing them to partnered play. By talking to your partner you’re not only planting the seed and allowing her to become accustomed to the idea, but also giving her the chance to prepare herself physically.
If you want to experiment with anal play, try encouraging her to play with her own body first. Beginning with external stimulation and using lube to gradually practice insertion beginning with the tip of your pinky.
Though not all anal play involves penetration, if you plan on inserting objects into your partner’s butt, it might be a good idea to try it on yourself first so you have a sense of how it feels.
Breathing patterns are essential to enjoying anal sex and ensuring that it is pleasurable and entirely pain-free. Though you can easily control your outer sphincter muscle with your central nervous system (the same system that allows you to contract and the other muscles in your body at will), your breath can help you to relax your inner sphincter muscle which is controlled by the autonomic nervous system. Just as deep breathing and other relaxation techniques can help to slow your heart rate, so too can they help you to relax the inner sphincter ring to make anal play more enjoyable.
When you’re trying for yourself for the first time, or entering your partner, be sure she knows the importance of calm, regulated breathing, it will make the entire experience much more pleasurable for you both.
4. Lube, lube, lube!
Always lube! Unlike other bodily orifices, the anus doesn’t self-lubricate, so lube is ESSENTIAL to anal play. Some people prefer silicone-based lubes for anal play, as they last longer and don’t wash away in the shower/water.
5. Be open to orgasms
Anal sex should be pleasurable for both partners and though not all sexual pleasure leads to orgasm, you can climax during anal sex. The male prostate can be stimulated through the bum as can the female ‘cul-de-sac’ (the sensitive area on the lower wall of the vagina).
Interestingly, research indicates that rates of orgasm for women are actually higher among those who report engaging in anal play as part of their sexual routine. Researchers connect these findings with the related report that engaging in a wider variety of activities during sex is positively correlated with orgasm.
What I would say is, pay special attention to her clit and you will add to her pleasure 10 fold.
7. Start with external stimulation
Anal sex doesn’t have to include penetration. In fact, most anal sex play involves a bit of finger play on the outside around the hole, where the pleasure receptive nerve endings are. Try drawing slow circles around the it with a lubed finger or gently pressing against it with the flat pad of your thumb.
A good exercise for newbies is to enjoy anal play (licking, sucking, massaging, kissing, etc.) with the promise of no penetration to build trust and become familiar with new sensations.
8. Proceed gradually
Many people encounter negative experiences with anal sex (and particularly penetration), as they move too quickly and attempt insertion before they’re relaxed and ready. Take time to deepen your breathing and begin with a very small object like your pinky finger before increasing the size gradually. Sex is not a race and fun, sexy experimentation can lead to passionate connections, heightened intimacy and of course, mind-blowing orgasms.
9. Wait until you’re aroused
Surprise! A finger in the bum doesn’t qualify as passable foreplay for the vast majority of lovers. In fact, it is often a good idea to hold off on penetration until you’re uber horny, arousal can help you to relax. Begin with the sexual activities you normally enjoy before introducing something new.
11. Eat fibre!
Though your anus is not a storage compartment for feces, they do pass through their on the way to the porcelain pool, so your diet can impact your degree of comfort and pleasure during anal play. If you don’t have enough fiber in your diet and you have to push hard when going to the bathroom, irritation and muscle strain can occur and cause discomfort.
Rest assured though, once you’ve been for your..shall we say number 2? Your rectum is left completely empty.
Check out 18 Things You Never Knew About Anal for more handy facts.