The 7 Secrets of Getting Her to Have Dirty Sex

shutterstock_135471878I like to think every woman has an inner slut just clawing to get out, she’s just choosy about who she plays with. Partly because she doesn’t know if you can handle her getting her freak on and partly because she may not have quite figured it out herself yet and is unsure about revealing it. Whatever the reason, if it hasn’t surfaced already, it’ll need a bit of coaxing.

You might be the romantic type, but let’s be honest, if you had the choice, do you prefer slow, quiet, intimate sex, or grope, spank, bite, and fuck your partner really hard and loud kinda sex? Most people would say the latter, even if it’s just some of the time, dirty messy sex is my personal favourite and here’s some top tips to help you get yours:


7. Don’t underestimate her dirty mind

It’s no secret that the mind of the average male is frequently occupied with sexual filth that they believe would repulse the average woman. While this may be case (depending on your level of kink), don’t assume that your girl doesn’t have an equally dirty side.

Most women think about sex, a lot, it’s a fact. We’ve all heard the urban legend of how men think about sex every 7 seconds (that’s 8000 times a day!), but there is actually no scientific research to back that up. A study carried out by Professor of Psychology at The Ohio State University at Mansfield revealed that men thought about sex once or twice an hour and didn’t think about it any more than they did sleeping or eating. The study also revealed that women thought about sex, sleep and food roughly half as often as men do (which is still good going).

You only have to look at the recent success of 50 Shades and other ‘mummy porn’ to see that women are into sex and are growing more and more confident in sharing their desires.

6. Coax her to share her dirty fantasies

It may be a challenge to get your girl to reveal her nasty inner thoughts so I’d suggest testing the waters of dirty sex first. Start off with a few questions, for instance: “Have you ever tied anyone up or been tied up?”, “Do you own any sex toys?”, “What do you fantasize about when you play with your pussy?”, “What is something you’ve always wanted to try?”.
These are good questions that should get her to open up and start sharing some of her own naughty thoughts with you. Then you can lead her down the path to dirtiness and hopefully get her to have dirty sex, hallelujah! If she’s massively turned off by your subtle questions then you have yourself a non-kinky girl my friend. Even so, the innocent can be corrupted and personally, I love a challenge…

Try taking the first step by revealing some of your own secret fantasies. Just a little tit bit at a time to see how she reacts, ask her what she thinks of them. If she does start opening up and revealing some of her naughty side, make sure you show plenty of enthusiasm for her ideas, confidence is important. A handy tip to keep in mind…keep it to fantasies, NEVER start telling her about filthy sex you’ve had in the past, this will likely make her clam up instantly and you can kiss goodbye to your dirty sex session.

5. Build up the filth

Don’t dive straight into the swinging/threesome/I’d love to fuck you sister kind of kink, you have to work your way up the filthy ladder.

Even if you’ve imagined all the kinky things you could do to each other hundreds of times before, you can’t expect her to jump into it full force without some effort on your part. If you’ve never gone to the dark/dirty side together, but you’ve opened her mind to some shared fantasies and things are looking promising then it’s time to step it up a gear.

Try some light role playing, talking dirty, choosing a sex toy to use together or a little mutual masturbation (with or without porn depending on how well it’s going, you can always add that later or skip altogether, read the signals and decide for yourself)..
When you’re coming up with ideas it’s important not to put pressure on her to do any one kinky act. Experimentation is all about exploring things you BOTH find hot. If porn seems like a big no no, try reading some steamy erotic fiction together, there’s plenty of it about, you could choose a book/story together or let her pick.

4. Make it new for both of you

Approach the dirty experimentation like it’s new for both of you, make her feel like it’s an exciting sexual adventure. Think of something you’ve never tried before and suggest that you try it together. If she knows you’re starting out on a level playing field, she’ll be more likely to let her inhibitions go and get wild with you. Let her know she’d be your first in this instance and it will build her sexual confidence no end.

3. Play a sex game

So you’re both open to the idea of getting dirtier in bed together, great stuff! Talking about it is a lot easier than actually introducing the nastiness into your sex life. A sex game is a great idea to help you get started. If you’re bold enough, visit a sex shop and check out the card and board games they have for sale. These are usually aimed at couples that want to add some sexgameexcitement to their love life and they should give you some ideas. Or, use your imagination and make up your own game together at home. The idea is to get both of you to open up and start trying things out. If all else fails, never underestimate the power of a classic, good ‘ol Truth or Dare.

2. Take the lead

Whether you’ve asked her out, taken her to dinner, invited her back to your place and you’re about to get your freak on for the first time, or you’re in a long term relationship and you’ve just decided you want a little more filth in your bed. It’s likely your partner has allowed you to take charge of many factors in her life, so why should sex be any different?

I’m not talking about clubbing her over the head cave man style, but if she’s new to filth she’s most probably going to follow your lead. Not because she’s weak, or doesn’t know what she’s doing, but rather because she’s unsure and doesn’t want to fuck it up.

Her behavior is going to reflect yours. If you talk dirty, spank her, kiss her, bite her, let loose with your desires. In doing so, she’ll become more comfortable, and let loose with her own.
If you want a strong, sexually confident woman in your bed, then you have to show her you can handle her sexuality. You do this by expressing your own, and being as uninhibited as possible without pushing the boundaries too hard.

You are likely going to have to be the one to make the first move if you want to get a little nastier in the bedroom. This applies to brand new and longer term relationships, show her it’s ok to get nasty, you like it!

1. Be patient, she might just surprise you

If you want her to be able let go of all her inhibitions, you need to show that you’re the perfect person to do that with; be open-minded, show maturity, and respect her(even when you’re treating her like a dirty little slut).
For most women, revealing their private, filthy thoughts may be difficult, let alone actually acting on them with you. It takes time, patience and effort to gently coax a sexually shy woman into revealing her naughtiest fantasies to you. But, if you’re willing to put in a shift, you might just be surprised to find out that your girl is more of a freak in bed than you would ever have guessed, all that filth will just pour out of her and you can reap the rewards.

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