Ok so firstly you might think this is futile, it’s impossible to limit the things that can upset the sometimes hostile territory that is the mind of a woman. I’ve narrowed it down to what might seem like the obvious ones, but you’d be surprised how many times women still hear these things amid guffaws from their men. So heed my words of wisdom guys, as funny as they are, your blow job count goes down every time these quips leave your lips…..
1. ‘What’s wrong with you? Got the painter’s in?’
The number one pet hate of women everywhere! It may well be true that she’s being an uber bitch because she’s got her period, but for the love of god, don’t mock it! It’s my firm belief that if there is ever a world war three it’ll be started by the words ‘aunt flo’s in town this weekend then….’
2. ‘My ex used to do this thing with her tongue…..’
Just…..no. Women like to believe there was no other before them, there will be no one after them. Reminding a woman that your ex was a cum hungry, sexy little minx will not help that fantasy.
3. ‘How many cocks have you had?’
One of two things is going to happen here, she’ll either tell the truth, or lie. Both are likely to piss you off, so don’t ask!
4. ‘Can I…..kiss you / fuck you / try your arse tonight?’
Unless you’re in some hot BDSM Domination/submission scene, all you’re doing here is giving a woman an opportunity to say NO! Gentle physical suggestions are the way to go.
5. ‘I’ve had X amount of women…’
See number 3. It may seem like you’re reassuring a woman of your sexual prowess and irresistibility, it’s much more likely to piss them off.
6. ‘I’m just going for a shit babe’
There is some kind of strange pride/fascination among men with regards to bathroom activity, unless your partner/would be woman is a fan of scat my guess is she’s not going to find it one bit sexy!
7. ‘Did you put on weight?’
……..crash and burn. There is NO safe way to approach a woman about her weight.
8. ‘I’ve had X amount of wanks this week!’
As much pride as you might feel for this achievement it’s highly unlikely a woman will share your joy. She’ll either take it as an insecurity she’s not doing her job right or a denial of the cum she could/should have had.
9. ‘Fuck me your mate is fit!’
No matter how secure, confident or sexy a woman is, they NEVER like to hear you find somebody else more attractive, least of all a friend. Said friend is likely to subconsciously become the competition, eventually leading to less contact…..equalling less perving opportunity for you.
10. ‘It’s just one little wart….’
Self explanatory I believe…….
