Is My Girlfriend Faking Her Orgasm

faking orgasm babeQuestion:
Dear Fanny, I think my girlfriend may be faking her orgasm, anyway I can know for sure? Eric

Answer:
Hi Eric, eight out of ten women are faking it when you think they are in the throes of orgasm, but it doesn’t mean your lacking in anyway, there’s many reasons women fake it such as tiredness, being nervous, drunk or she doesn’t think she will cum before you and doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. But fear not, here are the sure ways to know if you really are Cassonova in the sack.

  1. Sex noises. If it looks and sounds like porn, chances are she’s faking it. When a woman cums it normally isn’t pretty with throaty breaths and timed moans, it’s a toe curling animalistic response you’re looking for, think panting dogs in heat.
  2. Women on average take at least 20 minutes to cum, if it’s happening before that, you should be questioning if she’s acting it out for your benefit. If you’re blowing your load in 5 minutes flat she’s going to be pretty pissed off too. Make it last with lots of foreplay. Oral is quite often key to a lady throwing herself off the cliff of Pleasure Island.
  3. Silence after sex is never good, if you’re sat there thinking you’ve worn her out and she’s silent because you’ve rocked her world, think again my friend.
  4. Is she moister than an otters pocket or dryer than the Sahara? If you’re pounding away in a squelching mess of sexual fluids you know you’re doing something right, if not, she isn’t enjoying it and won’t be screaming your name any time soon.
  5. She talks about the big O like it’s a mystical unicorn farting rainbows, this means she doesn’t believe it exists, prove her wrong!
  6. She gives up pretending and starts giving instructions, if you’re a smart man, which I’m sure you are Eric, follow the fucking instructions. Don’t question it. Just do as the lady says and bring her to ecstasy.

Remember communication is key, man up, wear those big guy balls and ask her if she’s satisfied, she may well be a quick to orgasm dream girl, but it’s best to know for sure. Love Fanny xx

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