Question:
Dear Fanny, I REALLY want to try anal sex. I’m 26 and I’ve had a few girlfriends, but they’ve all refused to even try. I’ve been seeing a girl for a couple of weeks, I haven’t mentioned anal yet, but I will, how can I persuade her to at least try?
Cornelius, Leeds
Answer:
Hmmmm a lot of girls (and guys) have a fear of anal sex and to be fair, it’s a perfectly rational fear. Anal hurts! Especially of you’re brand new to it. Fans of anal sex are more commonly either people who have slowly and gently worked their way up to the full act or people who like a little pain with their pleasure.
Anal sex in a relationship is usually something that’s built up to over time rather than a first date affair. Is a few weeks into your ‘courtship’ long enough to have built up the trust that’s often required for a girl to feel comfortable in attempting something that’s quite often very daunting?
If you’ve gauged her personality and think you may have found a hidden minx, then I guess you can only ask right? As for persuading her, it goes without saying that you can’t make someone do something they’re not comfortable with or make them feel pressured, that’s never sexy. I would suggest talking about it, not all clinical like over a cup of tea, but in a passionate moment. When she’s feeling all hot and sexy, ask her how she feels about the idea or suggest something far less scary, like a well lubed finger tip, or a small sex toy…
If you get a positive response my advice then would be to take it slow and easy, don’t rush her. Do everything you can to make it enjoyable for her (clitoral stimulation at the same time as any anal play is always a good move). Make it a pleasurable sexual experience that she’ll hopefully want to repeat and build on.
I hope this helps, good luck and may all your kinky wishes come true! Have fun and stay sexy, Fanny x
