Am I Addicted to Porn?

ask-fanny

Question:

Hi,

It’s E from Facebook here with the questions that didn’t get to you before:

1. I am 40 years old and newly divorced, how do I find a fuck buddy – most of the websites seem to be full of scammers or older women.

2. I am unable to ejaculate unless wanking to porn, does this mean that I am addicted to the porn?

Cheers
E

Answer:

Hi E, Ok let me answer your fuck buddy question first. No strings attached sex is a common desire for millions, though actually finding it is often down to sheer pot luck. If you have female friends who could develop into something sexual then I’d say nurture those friendships, always being honest about what it is you want from her. You say scammers? As in paid services? Well now that depends. I’m an advocate of phone/text/cam fun, often the only way you’re going to guarantee yourself a stress free wank fest is indeed by paying for it my friend! You could also try out a naughty dating site.

Right, now onto your porn predicament. I do believe porn addiction exists. I’m unable to say whether you suffer from it, as I don’t have enough information. I would say addictive behaviour is a constant craving for something, it’s interfering with your day to day life, your relationships with people and causing you stress. Are you turning down invitations to go out and socialise, because you’d rather stay home and knock one out? Then yes, I’d certainly suggest a break at the very least. If you’re genuinely concerned then take a look at nofap.com, it’s a site specifically for people who want to cut down/out on masturbation and/or porn, with lots of support from people in the same situation as yourself.

Now, it may just be that you’re not addicted to porn, you function well in everyday life, you’ve just conditioned yourself to only be able to reach orgasm by using porn. Think about when you used to wank before you used porn. Did you play out a sexy scenario in your mind? Think about your ultimate fantasies? An ex? A celebrity?

Men especially are very visual creatures, more often than not you’ll respond better to actually SEEING something that turns you on rather than reading/thinking about it. Porn is so readily available I believe it can make us lazy with our imaginations. Why spend half an hour daydreaming about an epic blow job when you’re 2 clicks away from a cum shot compilation?

Well the answer is – because it’s fun and it’s sensual and it’s needed to take us back to basics sometimes, back to reality. I would suggest gently easing yourself away from porn. Perhaps for a week limit yourself to one 2 minute clip per session. The next week, use only sexy gifs, there are lots on tumblr. Week 3, just still pictures. Week 4 – just close your eyes and use the most powerful tool you have to hand…your mind.

I hope this helps and I’d love to know how you get on, good luck! xxx

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